Already Fallen
by we-will-not-fall-down
Summary: I'm Eli Goldsworthy. Clare Edwards has been my best friend since grade one. I've been in love with her ever since.
1. Best Friends Forever?

"Eli, come on we're going to be late for Adam's party!" I was getting ready as fast as possible. I wouldn't care about being late if it weren't for the fact that I had no idea what those two could possibly be doing down there without me being in the room. K.C. and Clare. First of all, what the hell was she doing dating some jock? She hated sports. And out of all of them, she had to pick K.C.? I thought to myself as I started walking down the stairs. A little piece of me died inside when I saw their position. Clare was sitting on his lap, lips on his, his hand slowly moving across her back. I wondered if they even noticed I was there. Probably not, they never noticed me anymore.

I cleared my throat loudly, and they reluctantly broke apart. That didn't stop them from keeping their hands intertwined, or whispering corny love lyrics to each other. Gosh, the two of them made me sick.

Clare has been my best friend since first grade. On the first day of school, I asked her to help me build a graveyard out of blocks. She suggested we build a church instead. We've been best friends ever since. Throughout the year, we've both picked up some new friends. Clare's two best friends were Alli and Jenna, the two ditziest girls I have ever met. I honestly don't know why Clare wastes her time with them. I was never as popular as Clare, I only made two friends. A pretty girl named Julia, who I started seeing in eighth grade before she was killed, and Adam. Adam was basically my best friend I had ever had. Clare liked him too, which meant she didn't mind if we all hung out together.

There was one problem with this story. I don't want to be the loser best friend. I want to be the boy the girl falls in love with, and they live happily ever after. I know, corny. But seriously, I loved Clare so much. She was funny, smart, and of course beautiful. She was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I've always had a thing for her, for as long as I remember. In second grade, she was my girlfriend, but we broke up because I wouldn't share my fruit snacks. Even at the age of seven, Clare Edwards was breaking my heart.

Everything was going fine until _he _came along. His name? K.C. Gunthrie. He's the starting Quarterback for the football team, has half the power squad drooling over him, and he had to chose Clare. Not that I don't approve of his decision, Clare was the prettiest girl in our school, but most people didn't seem to agree with me. Unfortunately, he was one of the few who did. So, I was forced to spend the past three months they've been dating watching them hold hands, kiss, and whisper silly things in each other's ears.

That one day was when I realized how serious they were. Clare was always a very religious girl, wearing a purity ring, going to church every Sunday, it was just the way she's always been. Little did I know that purity ring was just a charade for her parents. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a little. I didn't walk in on them having sex. I walked in, both wearing no shirt, Clare wearing no bra, and his hands were lower than I was okay with. It was the worst day of my life.

Now I've learned to except the fact that he's gonna be around for awhile, but that didn't mean I liked driving him places, such as Adam's party. I stopped thinking about the past and pulled up to Adam's driveway. It was his seventeenth birthday, and Clare was throwing him a surprise party. The three of us walked up to Adam's door, and knocked. After about thirty seconds, Adam's older brother, Drew, answered the door. He told us Adam would be out until three, just as planned. We started setting up, and Drew started walking off towards his room. God I hated that guy. I don't know why, I just did.

Drew was seeing Clare's friend Alli, Jenna was seeing their other friend Dave, and Adam was seeing Fiona. Aka, at this party, I would be the only single one in attendance. How wonderful. If only I had clare by my side. I watched her laugh to herself as she dropped a balloon, and I went over to help her. "How're the balloons going? Need any help?" She smiled, she always liked when people offered to help her with things, and she handed me a big box of balloons. I rolled my eyes and said, "Aww comeon Clare. I wasn't actually serious about helping, I just know how much you like when people ask." She smiled, she knew I was using my usual sarcasm, and hit me on the arm.

I turned toward her, a look of fake anger on my face, and said, "Clare Edwards, you are _dead_." I ran across Adam's living room, chasing her, and she was running and screaming. I finally had her about an arms length away from me, so I reached over and lifted her up. She was screaming in protest, but I decided maybe she wanted to go for a little swim. She was laughing and screaming and just having a good time. It was the old clare. The clare I used to know. It was nice to have her back, even if it was only for a moment. I looked over and saw K.C. glaring at me, so I decided to put her down.

She was still laughing as she walked back towards the house, and I jogged to catch up with her. She looked at me and said, "Oh Eli, I cannot believe we're freaking juniors in high school. It's ridiculous. I remember when you requested we build a cemetery out of blocks." She said, smiling. I couldn't help but smile. She remembered the memory just as well as I did. She sighed and wrapped her arms around me. Not in a romantic embrace, just a friendly one, but enough to get K.C. to turn a little more red in the face.

I turned to her and whispered, "Clare, I think your boyfriends getting a little bit jealous. I know I'm irresistible, but you really need to stop hanging all over me. It's getting a bit out of line." She laughed and, once again, hit my arm. I was going to get a permanent bruise there from her. This, I thought, was the way things should always be. Just the two of us, laughing till we cry, it was perfect. At least, our walk was perfect. It was perfect till we walked in the room K.C. was in and she wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him. Then I remembered, I'm just the loser best friend. The kind who only get the girl in fairy tales and Disney movies.


	2. The Terrible Message

It was almost time for Adam to come home, and I was the only one still preparing. Drew went up in his room with Alli, while Clare and K.C. were having a full out make out session. On the couch. Right in front of me. It was terrible knowing they had done those things, but to watch it was almost unbearable. If I wasn't terrified of what KC would do to me if he found out I was in love with Clare, I might have thought of a way to stop it. Considering I wanted to keep my head attached to my body, I decided to let them continue with their fun.

Still, it was difficult to try and finish decorating while trying to not watch Clare and KC. Although it repulsed me that she was doing that with him, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if she was doing it with me. "Eli, you have to stop thinking about her. She's happy with KC. She's known you eleven years now, if she wanted to be with you it would have happened by now. Get over her, and find some other girl to be with." Those thoughts went through his head every day, but he couldn't stop thinking about Clare. Her eyes, her smile, her laugh, everything about her made him smile. Everything that I would never have. He would never get to kiss her lips, hold her hand, nothing. He was doomed to be the sidekick best friend forever.

While I was too busy being lost in my thoughts, I noticed Adam coming up the walkway. WE had about thirty seconds to hide, and I don't know if the couples could break apart that quickly. "Clare! KC! Adam's walking up the walkway. You've gotta hide. Like, right now." They broke apart and sprinted for hiding places, while I yelled up to Alli and Drew, "Guys, hide. Now." I had about five seconds to find a hiding place, so I just laid under their table. As Fiona and Adam walked in, everybody got up and yelled, "SURPRISE." In doing to, I managed to hit my head on the table. Really, really hard. Ouch.

Adam was so surprised, he had no idea Clare and Fiona were planning all this for him. Everybody went to sit down on the couch to discuss some topic of interest. As Clare took a seat on KC's lap, Adam threw me an annoyed look. I had never told him about my feelings for Clare, but he just sort of knew. I guess he knew me well enough to tell that I didn't look at anyone else the way I looked at Clare. I was fine with him knowing, as long as he didn't share any of his information with Drew. If he shared it with Drew, Drew would share it with Alli, who would tell Clare, who would tell KC, who would kick my ass. Plus, I didn't want Clare knowing. Not quite yet.

The party was relatively fun. We talked, laughed, and had a good time. It was fun until Alli suggested we play truth or dare. They were stupid dares, like roll around on the floor for two minutes. I knew the dares would have been a bit different if I weren't there, but no one wanted me to feel awkward. "Great," I thought, "now I'm ruining their fun." Clare was dared to kiss Alli, which she did, laughing the whole time. It was then Alli's turn to pick. She said loudly, "Eli," she paused, probably thinking about what dare she was going to give me. I was a bit terrified; Alli and I didn't get along very well. The only reason we were civilized was for Clare. "I dare you to," she paused again then smiled, "Kiss Clare."

There was only one thought running through my head. How the hell was I supposed to kiss Clare without showing how I felt? It was one thing to be around her, but kissing her would be a completely different story. Clare didn't look that upset about this dare, but KC did. He kept giving Alli annoyed looks, and I didn't know what to do. Clare looked at me and said, "So are we doing this or what?"

Alli and Drew laughed, KC looked like he was going to murder, and Adam & Fiona had looks of pity on their faces. I assume Adam told Fiona about Clare. Great, just wonderful. I looked over at Clare, and she was sitting waiting for me. I walked over and kissed her lightly, trying not to get into it whatsoever. I pulled away right away, thinking maybe KC wouldn't kill me if I was the one who ended it. He looked relieved, Alli looked annoyed. "What kind of kiss was that? I meant full on lip lock. Come on, live a little!"

I responded by laughing, it seemed like the best thing to do in this awkward situation. "Sorry Alli. Next time you have to be a bit more specific." She rolled her eyes, and the awkwardness was over. What I was left with was a burning feeling in my lips. They just touched Clare's. I don't care if it was on a dare, or if it only lasted two seconds, they touched Clare Edward's lips.

The rest of the party was kind of a blur; I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. I was pathetic. Getting all worked up over a little peck on the lips with my best friend. Still, I couldn't stop thinking about it. More and more people left, and it was just Clare, me, Adam, and Drew. I was staying at Adam's, so Clare had to wait for her mom to pick her up. As usual, Clare's mom was running a bit late. She came over and sat next to me on the couch. "That was some kiss." She laughed, "I'm glad it didn't go farther than that, or KC would have killed you."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh come on Clare you know you want me." She laughed and I joined in. Once again, we fell into our usual light, simple conversations. She was telling me a story about when Darcy and she tried to make their mother on time for something. I stopped her midway through, telling her that I was the one who had thought of the plan, so she didn't need to tell anymore.

"Wow. I can't believe we've been best friends for eleven years. And to think that, despite everything that's happened," I shifted uncomfortably, she was talking about Julia. They weren't exactly best friends. Actually, they kind of hated each other. But when Julia died, Clare was there for me more than anyone. "We've been able to move on and stay close." She smiled. Damnit, why was she so beautiful? It was hard to keep my focus.

"Oh Clare, so corny as always. But yeah, I'm glad too." I wasn't an emotional person, so when she brought this up it really bothered me. But I was glad to have her, even if it wasn't in the way I wanted to have her.

The corniness was done with; we were now taking stupid pictures, one of which she kissed me on the cheek. She had done it a million times before, but this time it felt different. It felt as if, when she pulled away, there was a burning sensation where her lips were. She looked through all of the pictures, and, when she had come to that one, she said, "This one's my favorite. It's gonna be my profile picture, we're just so damn cute!" I laughed, it was true. "Look at your facial expression. It's too funny." I looked, and it was kind of hysterical. I was giving the camera a look that said, I can't help it, I'm just that hot.

We laughed and talked for ten minutes, and then her mom finally arrived. "Thanks for helping me out so much Eli. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you." She hugged me, and then hugged Adam. She walked out the door, and Adam turned to look at me.

"Dude, your screwed. How much longer can one person bottle up their emotions? I thought you were going to lose it with that kiss." He looked upset, I just laughed it off. I didn't want to get into emotions right now. With Clare was one thing, with Adam, a whole different story.

"Yeah whatever. I'm fine just being friends with Clare. At least, I'm fine with that till she dumps KC. Then, I'll have to comfort her and she'll fall lovingly into my arms." We laughed, and went upstairs to finish our discussion and just chill. I picked up my phone and looked at a text from Clare. It obviously wasn't supposed to be sent to me, but I couldn't help but read it. It read: 'I'll be over in ten. Just gotta make sure the rents don't see me sneak out. I can't believe we're finally going to do this. Happy three months, babe.' I felt sickened, it was from Clare, and she was going to have sex with KC.


	3. Hopelessly in Love

_**Okay, so the next episode will have more Clare/Eli moments, and less of Clare talking about KC, I PROMISE. There will also be more Adam/Eli/Clare friendship, so keep reviewing (:**_

I read the text a few more times, just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Nope, it most definitely said that. Now I just had to figure out what to do about it. Adam was better at these kind of things, but I felt like I was betraying Clare by telling him what she texted me. I felt like I was betraying her by reading the text, even though she sent it to me. Why did she make me this crazy? I took a deep breath and tried explaining it to Adam, "!" I said this as quickly as possible, but Adam just looked confused. Maybe I should have gone a little slower, "Clare just texted me a message that was supposed to be sent to KC. It said she'd be over in a few minutes, and that they are going to have sex. We have to do something; I can't just sit here and let this happen. What do you think we should do?"

I looked at Adam hopefully, but he was giving me a look of confusion. "What do you mean what are we supposed to do? I know you love her, Eli, but you have to let her do this. It's her decision, not yours. It was different if you were her boyfriend," I winced as he said that, it was like he was trying to put mental images in my head, "But you're not. You're not her boyfriend, KC is. And if they want to take their relationship to the next level, you really don't have the right to stop them. I know you're hopelessly in love with her, but you have to let her do this."

I was most likely looking at Adam like he had a thousand heads, green skin, and was singing the National Anthem while drinking chocolate milk through his toes. What he suggested was just that insane. Let Clare, my sweet, innocent, Clare, have sex with some jock? Was he insane? "Adam, I get if you can't help me. After all, Clare's your friend too. But I have to do something; I can't just sit around and let her sleep with him. I'm calling her, and I'm possibly going to KC's. If there's anything I can do to stop this, I will do it. He doesn't deserve her, but, more importantly, she's going to regret this. One day, when their over, which will be soon hopefully, she's gonna realize she's not ready at all."

I couldn't believe Clare was going to do this, it was just too insane. What was bothering me even more was that she didn't tell me. She told me _everything. _She would tell me when she liked a boy, when her mom yelled at her, or when bad thing s would happen to Darcy, her older sister. I'll never forget when she found out Darcy was raped. She sprinted the whole way to my house, and we live about six blocks apart. That's a long way for a seventh grader who was not athletic in the slightest bit. She came up to my door, looking confused. She didn't really understand what was going on, but I knew it only too well. I was obsessed with drama shows, I was a weird seventh grader, and half the girls in the show had been raped. I knew what it was, but, more importantly, I knew how much it hurt them mentally. I held Clare while she cried for her sister, and when she finally went home, she kissed my cheek.

I stopped the flashback and dialed the number 2, Clare's speed dial, number 1 being the answering machine. I was ready to throw the phone at the wall when I heard, "Hey! It's Clare Edwards, and I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message and I'll call you back." I had heard this thousands of times, but this was the first time I ever heard myself in the background. I was laughing hysterically, probably making fun of Clare for her lame voicemail. This was the day before she got together with KC, I realized. It was the last day I was truly happy.

I hopped in my car, and started driving towards KC's house. I had no idea what I would do when I got there, but I would think of something. I was good at thinking on my feet. I pulled up to KC's, and saw Clare running across his lawn. She looked over and saw me; and, frankly, she didn't look annoyed. She looked genuinely happy, as she always looked when she saw me. Not the same way she looked when KC was there, but she looked happy, which was good. She came running up to the car. "Eli! What are you doing here?"

I took a deep breath, "Clare, I know what you're here for. You're going to have sex with KC. First of all, I can't believe you didn't tell me, but secondly, that's a huge mistake. Your gonna seriously regret it." I stopped talking and looked up at her, scared to see her facial expression. It wasn't annoyance, but it wasn't that happy look either. It was somewhere in the middle of the two.

"I'm not even going to ask how you know, because somehow you always do. Eli, I would've told you, but I was afraid it wouldn't end up happening and then I would just look dumb. And as for the mistake part, well, that's dumb. I love KC, and I'm ready for this. I'll talk to you tomorrow, coffee at the Dot?" I couldn't believe she was being so nonchalant with this. She was Clare Edwards, she blushed when she told me she and KC held hands for the first time.

"Listen, Eli, KC is waiting for me in there. I don't know if we'll actually end up having sex, but if we do, I promise I'll tell you. I should have told you we were planning it, and I'm sorry for that. You're the best friend a girl could have, and I have no idea what I'd do without you to tell all my secrets too. But right now I've gotta go; I promised I wouldn't be late."

"Clare… I umm… really like your shirt." I chickened out. I was going to confess my feelings, but I just couldn't do it. I guess I was going to have to let her have sex. Adam was right; it was the only thing to do. I watched her walk in his house, and sat in his neighborhood for ten more minutes. I was crying hysterically, I knew I was pathetic, but I just loved her so much. I was hopeless. I was the sidekick loser best friend, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.


	4. Comforting Clare

_**Please review, all the reviews last time made me so happy! The more you review, the faster I'll update(:**_

I drove back to Adam's house, having to stop a few times because I couldn't see the road through my tears. Why was I acting like this? I was a guy, guys shouldn't cry over girls. Yet, there I sat, letting tears flow out of my eyes. When I finally arrived at Adam's, I walked straight up to his room, ignoring Drew's questioning glance. I didn't mind Drew, but I really didn't feel like explaining the whole Clare situation to him, especially not right now. I saw Adam, sitting on his bed, and I just collapsed onto it. I wasn't crying anymore, but my eyes were most likely bloodshot, they hurt like hell.

"I saw her, but I didn't have the guts to tell her anything. I just told her maybe she shouldn't do it, because one day she might regret it. She seemed happy to see me, but she said she was still going to do it. We're going for coffee tomorrow to," I paused and cringed, "talk about it." I stopped talking and looked at Adam, expecting another speech on how I should have left Clare alone because it was her life, blah, blah, blah. I didn't get that, though. What I did get was much worse than some speech I could ignore.

He was giving me that look again. The look that felt so horrible for me, but that he didn't know what to do. "Eli, I'm sorry man. But hey, she'll come around one day. As for now, you've just gotta be patient and wait. I know it's hard, believe me, I know, but you just have to let her be happy while she can. I can tell you right now, KC and Clare will not be together that longer. Their just some fling that will last a couple more months, then they'll break up and you can have her all to yourself." Adam looked around the room, as if he was expecting some answer for how to comfort me to appear magically. No such answer came.

"I know you're right. It's just that every day I have to wait goes by so slowly, I want them to be over. But I know it's not going to happen quite as quickly as I want it to, so I might as well learn to deal with it. I'm going to sleep, I can't think about it any longer or I'll explode." I lay down and slept while Adam played video games, and I woke up the next morning to my phone vibrating on my chest. It was Clare. She wanted to meet for coffee in an hour.

Adam was already awake, so we went downstairs and got some food. I told him I was leaving in an hour, to meet Clare. He looked at me and said, "Alright dude. Call me if you need me for anything. Just, don't let her know that you're angry for her with what she did, that will just make her pissed off."

I rolled my eyes; he didn't understand this situation at all. "That's the problem. I'm not angry at her. I'm just, well there's no other word for it, sad. I just wish it wasn't him. That's all. She is at liberty to have sex with whomever she wants to have sex with; it's none of my business whatsoever."

I left Adam's about ten minutes before I was supposed to meet Clare. I drove to the Dot, and got us two coffees and a table. I added about thirty sugars in hers, how she liked it. I, on the other hand, drank mine black. Yet another thing that was so different about us.

"Eli! Hey!" I saw her walking up to me, smiling. Smiling, that can't be a good sign. I motioned for her to sit, and gave her a look that said tell me everything, don't leave anything out. She knew my looks perfectly, so she began, "Okay, well, Eli, I didn't do it. Well, not technically. Eli, I don't know. I'm a bit confused as to what happened, actually."

I smiled, she was just so innocent. "Clare, you'd know if you had sex, you were there weren't you?" I was expecting a smile in return, but instead I saw a tear slide down her cheek. Something was wrong, really wrong. "Clare, what's wrong? Did he do something to you?" She tried to answer, but got really choked up, so she just nodded her head. "Clare, what the hell did he do to you?"

"Okay, Eli, so I went up to his room and we started kissing, and everything was wonderful. Then I looked at my finger and saw my promise ring. I just couldn't do it. It's not that I won't have sex with someone before I get married, but I want to be sure that they'll be the one I am with for the rest of my life. If I know I'm with the one I'm going to marry, I will be fine with having sex, because we're meant to be together. I don't think KC and I are going to be together forever, so I didn't want to take this huge step with him. I told him that, but he didn't seem to hear me. He just continued taking off more and more of my clothes, and finally I slapped him, hard. I didn't know what he was doing. Maybe he didn't hear me when I said I didn't want to do it, so I said it again. 'Clare, I heard you the first time. The only problem is that I want to do it, so we're doing this.' I was terrified, Eli." She paused when she saw the look on my face, and probably realized what I was thinking because she added, "Oh Eli, he didn't rape me, that's not it." I'm sure my facial expression relaxed a little after that, but then she started again, "But he did do something. He told me I made a promise, and I better keep it. I told him I was sorry, but I wasn't going to have sex with him. Do you know what he said to me after that? He said, 'Clare, you're such a prude. That's why I've been hooking up with Jenna after every single one of our dates. You're not worth hiding that. I'm sorry, Clare, but we're done.' I was so angry; I slapped him, really, really hard. I started walking out the door, but then he grabbed my arm and slapped me back, before kicking me out."

I was silent, not saying a single word. If I did, I would most likely scream out words that would get me kicked out of the Dot. When I finally calmed down enough to speak, I said, "Clare, can you give me a minute. I have to resist the urge to find him and rip out his spleen." I was at loss for words. Who the hell did that guy think he was, cheating on Clare? Not only did he cheat on her, but he hit her. I finally felt like I could talk to her without screaming. "I don't know what to say, Clare. I cannot believe someone would do something so terrible, especially to you. I don't care how much it hurts me in the process, I don't even care if I die in the process; I will get him back for this. You're my best friend, and no one can treat my best friend like shit and get away with it." When I finished my little hero speech, she took my hand and let me out of the Dot.

I had no idea where she was taking me, but I really didn't care that much. I just wanted to do something to comfort her. We were sitting in my car, and she was still crying. I had my arm around her, stroking her hair. I wasn't doing it in a romantic gesture; I was just trying to comfort my best friend. "Eli, thank you so much for being here for me. I don't want you to kill KC, he's not worth it. Especially because he'd probably kill you, and then who would I tell my deepest darkest secrets? You've been there for me when I most needed you, and I hope I was there when you needed me badly. I remember that time, seeing you that sad, well it killed me. I know she and I weren't best friends, but I want to say that I wish it didn't happen. I wish you could still be happy, Eli."

She was talking about Julia, but I didn't want to talk about that. Did she not notice that I was happy now, too? I was happy being her friend, always being there for her. "Clare, I'm not glad it happened, believe me. I wish she was still here too, and not a day goes by that I don't miss her terribly. Only one good thing came out of that time, and that was us. We became so much closer. We were always super close, but when I lost her you were always here, never leaving my side. You would go weeks without going home, and you did that just for me. I know I wasn't in a good place, drinking way too much, doing some pretty bad things, but if it weren't for you I know something way worse would have happened. I don't think I could have got through it without you being there for me."

I finished talking, and she looked up at me with those beautiful eyes. She wasn't saying anything, but she didn't have to. We understood each other in a way that didn't need words. I held her close to me, still trying to comfort her, but she seemed like she didn't need to be comforted anymore. She had a fiery look in her eyes, the look she got when she was determined to do something. She then pulled my ear down to her mouth and whispered, "You're the best friend I've ever had, Eli. I wouldn't trade that for anything." She then brought her lips to mine.


	5. Will it be Worth It?

**EDIT. thanks to the person who reviewd under 'happy' for letting me know how much i screwed up the times. i fixed it(:**

**Long time, no update right? I was having the **_**worst **_**writer's block EVER. This chapter is yet again a boring one, but I promise next chapter, IT WILL BE INTERESTING. & much better, I promise. Anyways, thanks to KitKat0219 for help with said writer's block! (: DEGRASSI COMES BACK TOMORROW. I CAN'T WAIT. Sorry, random spasm. Anyway, enjoy and review please (:**

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I expected my first kiss with Clare to be a bit different than this. We were squished in my car, and it wasn't romantic whatsoever. Not that I didn't enjoy kissing her, I did, more than anything I'd ever done. Still, it didn't feel right. A piece of me knew why it didn't feel right, but I was afraid to admit it to myself. It didn't feel right because it wasn't right. Clare and l were meant to be together, but this wasn't the time or place for it to happen. Our first kiss was supposed to be after an amazing first date. It wasn't supposed to take place in Morty twenty minutes after she had told me her boyfriend hit her.

Shit. KC had hit her. That had almost left my mind, but as soon as I remembered there was no way to forget it. He hurt her, and I would make him pay. I pulled away from Clare and realized I would have to tell her something. She looked a bit confused, probably wondering why she had just been making out with her best friend. "Clare, let's just forget that happened, okay? I know you're not exactly stable at the moment, and so that lead to you kissing me." She looked down guiltily; she hadn't meant to lead me on. I was used to it; she had been doing it for years. "Clare, there's more important things for us to deal with now. Where would KC be now?" She looked down and started to cry again, which instantly made me feel guilty for being so forward. I should have lightly mentioned him, not brought him straight into the conversation.

"Hold on, I'll see if he texted. Yep, he did. Eighteen times. He wants to meet up at the Dot around three, so he can apologize. Eli, I don't know what to do. I don't know how I'll face him. I know I have to, I mean he goes to our school for God's sake, but I just can't do it. He hurt me, Eli, he hurt me so badly." And she started to cry yet again, which made me want to cry. I hated seeing her sad. I couldn't let Clare see KC, not until she was ready.

"Text him back telling him you'll be there." She looked at me with tears in her eyes and I quickly finished, "you won't be going. I will. I'm going to get him to stay away from you until you're ready to see him again. That sound like a good plan, Clare?" She smiled, and I could tell she was into the plan.

She was into it until she found a flaw. "Oh Eli you're not going to try and hurt him are you? I don't want anything like that to happen! I just want everything to be settled using words, not violence!" I smiled, she was so innocent. I was terrible at lying, especially to Clare, but in this situation I had to make her believe it, otherwise there was no way she would let me near KC. I promised her no violence would take place, and she agreed to tell him they would meet up.

At two forty five I was sitting outside the Dot in Morty, waiting for KC to arrive. I was getting angrier by the second, how could someone hurt Clare? Poor, sweet, innocent, beautiful, funny, smart, adorable, wonderful, perfect Clare. I was getting more upset by the second, and finally, around two fifty five, I saw him. I got out of the car and prepared myself for what I was about to do. KC was a lot bigger than me, but I had the element of surprise. Plus, he knew Clare would kill him if she found out he had hurt me, and he was kind of in the dog house right now.

I walked up to KC, tapped his shoulder, which caused him to turn around. Before I had any time to think about what I was doing, I punched him in the jaw. He reacted quickly, more quickly than I had expected. He was hitting me back, or at least, he was trying to. If there was one thing positive about being short and skinny, it was that you always seemed to be able to move quickly. I had dodged all of his punches, and managed to punch him once more, only this time it was in the gut. He had knelt over in pain, and I hit him once more. "That one's from Clare. If you ever hurt her again, I swear to God I'll kill you. I don't care if I die in the process, you will die."

I started walking away, but I heard him say my name, so I reluctantly turned around. "Just tell me one thing, Eli, how long have you had a thing for Clare? Twelve years? And she never caught on? Just goes to show that she doesn't feel the same way, dude, so you can stop the hero act. It's not gonna work, she's never gonna fall for you. Not trying to be a jerk, just trying to be realistic." God I hated him. What really bothered me about what he was saying was that it was true. Clare and I would never end up together.

I walked away from KC, but not without getting a few more punches in for his last comment. It may have been the truth, but I hated him for saying it. I looked at my watch, it was two thirty. I had three hours before I was supposed to be at Clare's house. What was I supposed to do with threehours? Clare was with Alli, and Adam was spending the day hanging with Drew. I didn't really have any other friends. I felt my phone vibrate, so I picked it up and checked to see who was texting me. It was Adam. He said he and Drew just came up with a genius idea, and I'd better meet them in the park in twenty minutes if I wanted to be a part of it. "Well," I thought to myself, "I have no other way to spend the next couple of hours. Mine as well spend it doing something productive than sitting at home watching television, anxiously waiting for Clare's call." So I decided to head over to the park to see what their genius idea could be.

After about ten minutes of searching, I finally found Adam and Drew. They were sitting on a bench, laughing hard, and holding some sort of camera. That's what it looked like from where I was standing, anyway. "This is perfect." I heard Drew say. "I'll finally be able to tell Alli I was right all along and that she never shuts up about me to Clare." I rolled my eyes, Drew was so cocky sometimes. I wondered what they could possibly be doing, so I asked "What are you guys doing with that camera? That's what it is, right?" The two started laughing hysterically immediately, and I instantly felt dumb. It probably wasn't a camera after all.

"Yeah that's what it is dude. And here's what we're gonna use it for. So tonight, you're going over Clare's right? What are you guys doing? Are you being the good best friend, bringing her comfort food and a shoulder to cry on?" Drew asked, laughing. I punched his arm to shut him up. He continued with his explanation, "So as you know Alli and Clare are super tight. I bet Alli tells Clare everything and the same goes for Clare telling Alli. Basically, when they have sleepovers, all the secrets are spilled, including the ones about me. So, what I need you to do is put this camera inside Clare's bedroom, which will only record when we push the button on this remote." Okay, I still wasn't seeing the genius in this situation.

"And how is this going to help me? If anything, this is going to get me murdered. Clare's going to _kill_ me if she finds out, so unless you have a good explanation…" Drew cut me off immediately. "Dude, I do. So you're like in love with Clare right? She probably tells Alli everything about you. The things she likes that you do, the things she hates, how she feels about you, _everything._ So, all you have to do is put this camera in her room and wait till they have their next sleepover. What do you think, man? Are you in?"

I had to admit, this plan was genius. Still, I felt intrusive videotaping Clare and Alli just to find out if Clare had mutual feelings for me. I checked my watch, two fifty. Well, what else was I going to do in the next couple of hours? I felt bad about what I was about to do, but that didn't stop me from answering "I'm in."


	6. Putting the Plan into Action

So in this chapter, I had to set up things for next chapter, which I promise, WILL BE BETTER. It will have Eli's hopeless commentary about Clare, and possibly some interest from her too? No promises, though! You never know what Clare's gonna do(;_** IF YOU READ, PLEASE REVIEW.**_ PLEASE .PLEASE. PLEASE . thanks(:

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At 5:00 I was packing my things for Clare's. I had the camera in my hand and I couldn't help but feel bad for what I was going to do. I was intruding on Clare's privacy, and that just wasn't right. Still, I had promised Drew I would do it and I couldn't back down now. I put the camera in my bag along with two horror movies, just to freak Clare out. After all, she always hated horror movies. At 5:20 I said bye to my mom, and started driving to Clare's.

As I pulled up to the Edward's house, I saw Clare sitting on the porch. She was reading something, and she looked so peaceful. I almost didn't go up straight away; I didn't want to interrupt her peacefulness, until I saw what she was reading. _The Twilight Saga: New Moon_. This had to be the thousandth time she was reading it, this girl was obsessed. I ran up on the porch and she hid the book behind her back. "Seriously Clare, Twilight _again?_ You've read them a thousand times, and you've never missed a midnight premiere. Come to think of it, I've actually never missed a midnight premiere either thanks to you."

She laughed, she knew I hated her obsession with vampires, and pulled me inside. "Oh you're just jealous of Edward and Bella's perfect relationship! She's willing to give up her life for their love, how romantic is that?" For some reason that statement made me think of Julia. After all, if it weren't for me, she never would have died. Clare could sense I was upset about something so she changed the subject quickly. "So what are we watching tonight? I was thinking you pick one and I'll pick one." She smiled and I knew Eclipse was on her mind, it had come out on DVD just yesterday.

"I actually brought my own selection, Edwards. There's no freaking way I am sitting through two and a half hours of vampires. We're watching horror movies all night long. I brought two not so scary ones, just so you don't pee yourself. See, I'm so caring, that's why you love me." She laughed, but I knew there was no way we were watching horror movies. Clare and I had completely different taste in everything, movies, food, music, style; everybody wondered why we were so close. I was gothic, liked heavy metal, horror movies, and wasn't very good at channeling my anger. She was angelic, always smiling, liked vampires and boy bands, and was always cool and collected in bad situations. I seriously didn't get how we got along so well, but we just did.

"Eli, there is no way we're ever gonna pick a movie. This happens every time you come to watch a movie; I don't think we've ever actually watched one! Let's just make s'mores instead, and we can catch up. I feel like I haven't talked to you in so long, even if it only has been a couple of days."

"You had me at s'mores, Edwards." She laughed and pulled me into the kitchen. We were sitting around her stove, attempting to make s'mores. After burning my sixth marshmallow, I was starting to get a little bit frustrated. "Clare, how come your marshmallows always look so perfect? Mine always end up blackened and burnt, tasting terrible."

She laughed and answered, "Blackened like your soul, Goldsworthy?" That caused me to laugh; everyone at school seemed to think I had no soul. "I'm just patient! If you weren't in such a rush to eat the s'mores, your marshmallow would turn out much better. She was laughing to herself and I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. I loved the way her eyes lit up when she was talking, the way she would stand up for something she believed in, the way she teased me about having no soul, I loved everything about her.

"Hey uhh Clare? I think last week when I was here I might have left my Dead Hand t shirt in your room, mind if I go take a look?" She shook her head so I grabbed my bag and started walking toward her room. I laughed as I got to her door; the last time I was here she made me help her hang a poster of Robert Pattinson up at the top. I walked in her room and looked to make sure no one was watching before I took the camera out of my bag and hid it under one of her t-shirts. Drew didn't need to see Alli and Clare, only hear what they were saying.

I heard Clare walking up the stairs so I quickly grabbed the Dead Hand t shirt out of my bag and put it under her bed, pretending to find it as she walked through the door. "Found it! I wonder what it was doing under your bed; do you have a secret shrine under there for me?" She laughed and hit my arm, something she tended to do a lot. "You're so full of yourself, Goldsworthy! Makes me wonder what I ever saw in you back in second grade."

"Oh come on, Clare, you know that's the reason you love me so much." She laughed; this was just another ordinary conversation between us; we insult each other and defend ourselves. "So, Clare, I know you don't want to talk about it much, but you know we need to talk about KC, right? You need to tell me if he ever physically hurts you again. Obviously if he emotionally hurts you I'll want to know, but he shouldn't be able to do that anymore now that the two of you are done." She nodded as tears filled her eyes, and I sort of hated myself for making her relive last night. Still, I needed to know that she would be able to protect herself from this jerk. I needed to know that if he ever hit her again, she would tell me, and we could get him put away. I needed to know that Clare was safe. "Clare, if anything else happens, I will hold myself personally responsible. You need to tell me, alright? Now, I'm going to ask you one question about it, and then we're done talking about it. We can go back to having fun, making s'mores, being stupid. But I need to know something, Clare. I need to know how much danger you're in. Has he ever hit you before yesterday? Even if it didn't leave any marks, even if it didn't even hurt. As long as it was serious and not a joke, you need to tell me right now. Has it ever happened before?"

"Eli, it means a lot that you're so worried about me, it feels good to have someone care so much, but I'm seriously fine. It was a onetime thing, never happened before, and it will never happen again. I'm done with that douche bag, done with everything he stands for. He hit me once, and I'm making it my job to make sure he can never do it again. Alright?" She smiled, and I knew she was telling the truth. All the tension I was feeling let go, and I was finally able to relax. He had still hit her, but he hadn't done it on numerous occasions. He hadn't put her in that terrible situation more than once.

Clare and I were talking about future plans for the weekend, we had off from school on Monday, so I was wondering what she was doing tomorrow night. "Well, Alli wanted to have a girl's night, so we're having a sleepover, doing each other's hair and nails, stupid things like that." She laughed, and I couldn't help but smile. Now I could put my plan into action. That is, if the sleepover was happening at casa de Clare. (House of Clare)

"Sounds like a total blast, thanks a lot for the invite gurl!" She laughed, I always made fun of her when she and Alli had these girl's nights. It just didn't make sense to me why they spent hours doing their hair if they were just going to stay inside and watch movies all night. Still, I would never fully understand the mind of Clare Edwards. I would never understand the mind of Alli Bhandari either, for that matter. "So," I started casually, not wanting to seem suspicious, "are you guys having it here or at Alli's? Just curious so I know which house to crash." She laughed, and I knew she didn't realize the reason behind my question, she thought I was just curious.

"We're having it here; Alli's parents are so strict it can drive me insane. She's coming over around seven, so if you're crashing our partay that's when you should be here by." She was joking; I would never go to one of their girl's nights. First of all, it sounded like torture, second of all, that would be just plain weird. But, Clare and Alli having it here meant that the plan would definitely start tomorrow. I took out my phone and texted Drew and Adam, "Just talked to Clare about what she's doing tomorrow. Alli's sleeping over at casa de Clare. Cameras should go on round 7." I shut my phone and prepared myself for the things I would find out tomorrow.


	7. Confession Time!

I woke up on Clare's couch to the scent of pancakes. I looked at my phone and quickly got up; it was eleven thirty in the morning! Clare was usually up before nine, so I always felt bad when I slept hours after that. I walked in the kitchen and smiled, Clare was at the stove pouring pancake batter into a pan. Whenever I stayed over, she made me pancakes in the morning. She knew they were my favorite food, but that nobody in my family could really make them very well. It was really sweet, and it always made me smile. Not only because I was eating an amazing pancake, but because Clare does things like that for me. It just shows how amazing she is. "Whatcha making, Clare? Is there anything I can do to help?" She smiled, and I knew the answer before it even came out of her mouth. If I tried to help, the house would most likely be burnt down in ten minutes.

"You know just what I'm making, and no please don't help." She laughed a little, then focused on her pancakes. "Alli's coming over later, and I have to shower and clean my room, so you, Elijah, have to be out of here by two." I rolled my eyes; I _hated_ it when people used my full name, which she of course knew.

"I actually have to leave pretty soon Clare _Diana_; I have to work on a History project before I head over to Adam and Drew's house." She rolled her eyes at the use of her full name, and continued making the pancakes. God, they smelled good. Of course, their scent was nothing compared to the wonderful scent she was giving off. She always smelled so good, like apples. I loved apples. Only the red ones, though, the green ones were too sour for me. She looked up from her pancakes and caught me studying her.

"Blueberry pancakes for me and chocolate chip for you! I seriously don't see how you can take something as unhealthy as pancakes and put it with chocolate chips, but hey, that's Elijah Goldsworthy for you, never even attempts to eat healthy. Honestly, I have no idea how you're not three thousand pounds."

"Come on, Clare, it's just a bit of chocolate, you'd love the taste if you would just _try them._" She shook her head no, and I rolled my eyes. "Your loss, Edwards, their delicious. You make the best pancakes in the entire world." I said as I took a big bite into my pancakes. Dear God they were good. I looked at the time, 12:15. I was kind of in a hurry to get out of here; I didn't want Clare becoming suspicious! "I hate to eat then rush right out of here, but I really have to go. I told Drew I'd call him at 12:30 so I could help him with said history project, we're in the same group." Okay, so I was lying, there was no history project, but Clare didn't need to know that.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. Thanks for coming, Eli. And thank you for getting me through what you helped me get through. I know I didn't really seem like it last night; but I really am grateful that you were so worried about me. It made me feel like I actually belonged somewhere." I smiled, told her that I would always be there for it, and she hugged me goodbye. I left her house smiling, the way I always left Clare's. The way I always left anywhere where Clare was. Why did she have this effect on me?

Time passes really quickly when you're shopping online. I was looking for a present for Clare, it was almost her birthday and I hadn't even thought about anything yet, that is, until I found the perfect present. I would get her a limited edition copy of _Twilight,_ and a life size cut out of Robert Pattinson. The thing scared the shit out of me, but I knew Clare would love it. I also knew she would love the fact that I contributed to her vampire obsession. I really didn't get that, whatsoever. What was so fascinating about creatures that don't sleep and suck your blood? There are some things about Clare that I will never understand.

By the time I actually finished shopping, it was 6:00. I told Adam I'd be over at six, so I realized I should probably leave. I yelled up to my mom that I'd be at Adam's for the night, and she yelled back approving. I hopped in Morty and drove towards Adam's house. I realized if I went a bit out of my way, I could pass Clare' s and see if Alli had arrived yet. I drove in the Edward's neighborhood and looked up at Clare's window. She was sitting on her bed, reading, and she looked flawless. There was not a bit of makeup on her face, and her hair looked as if it had never been touched by a brush, and yet she still looked beautiful. I never understood that.

I assumed Alli wasn't there yet because Clare was reading, so I started turning around. In my rear view mirror I saw Sav's car pull up, so I realized Alli was probably just getting here. I started driving faster towards Adam's; I didn't want to miss any parts of their conversation. As terrible as I felt about doing all of this, I was truly curious. I ran into Adam's house, ignoring Mrs. Torres' glare. I hated her; she was one of the bitchiest women I had ever met. I went up to Adam's room and saw Drew and Adam sitting, talking about some comic book.

"Turn on the camera, now. Alli just got there, and that means they'll probably start their girl talk soon!" I was out of breath from running, so I sat down on Adam's bed to catch my breath. Drew turned on the camera and instantly we heard voices. The first voice we heard sounded like Alli's "Oh yeah, he used to drive me insane! The way he would be all like 'Okay Alli, I like you, but I don't want to be with you in front of my friends. Oh, and I'll send naked pictures of you to half the school. Okay, so he sent them to one person, but still, I can't believe he did that!" Adam looked at Drew, who shrugged and looked to me. 'Johnny DeMarco' I mouthed at the two of them. Clare had told me all about their experience with Johnny their freshman year. "I know, he was seriously so wrong for you. He was a jerk, and you deserved so much better. I'm glad you're with Drew; he seems like a better guy than Johnny was. I don't know him that well, but he hasn't sent pictures of you without your clothes on to someone else." The two of them laughed and Drew looked upset. I would be too, if someone had distributed pictures of _my _girlfriend to the entire school.

"So, Clare, what's going on with you and KC? You told me the two of you broke up but you didn't give any explanation why. I need details darling!" Adam and Drew looked at me, probably to see if I was surprised by the news of KC and Clare's breakup. I, on the other hand, was terrified that she would tell Alli what really happened, because I knew she wouldn't want Adam or Drew knowing. She didn't like people knowing things about her. "We just got in a big fight, that's all. We're over, done, never going to happen." Alli sighed, and Clare laughed. "Come on, Alli, the guy was a jerk. Don't act like you're surprised to hear me say that, everyone knows it." Alli agreed and then said, "Okay, Clare, you seem uber happy about something. What is it? Come on, I'm your best girl friend; you can tell me anything and everything!" I could hear Clare laugh a little, and she began, "Okay, so after I broke up with KC, I umm... I kind of… sort of… in a way… made out with Eli?" Alli shrieked, and Drew and Adam both looked at me with confused looks. Well, Adam was giving me a confused look; Drew gave me a high five. I ignored them and continued to listen. "Clare! Eli, as in, your best friend since like, forever? Eli as in, the one you tell everything to before me? Eli as in Eli _Goldsworthy?_ How could you not tell me this?" Clare laughed at Alli's reaction and answered honestly, "Well, because, I don't know where it left us. I mean, he came over last night, but we just did what we always did. Nothing out of the ordinary there. And I'm most certainly not over KC; after all, I was with him for three months. But when you dared me to kiss him, at Adam's party, well, at the time I thought you were being immature. That is, until I felt the warmness of his lips against mine. I never wanted to pull away. You most certainly sparked something inside of me that I never noticed before that night. I still love KC, but I think I might be in love with Eli too."

**If you enjoyed it, please review! (: **The more reviews, the faster I update. Message me if you have any questions!


	8. Can't Get you off my Mind

_**Warning! **__**This chapter is literally the cheesiest thing ever. You have been warned.**_

"I think I might be in love with Eli too." Those words were playing on repeat in my mind. I wasn't sure what was wrong with my ears, because surely I couldn't be hearing correctly. I looked at Adam who was wearing a look of surprise, and I looked at Drew who, yet again, gave me a high five. There was no way this could possibly be true. Clare Edwards, _the_ Clare Edwards, just couldn't be in love with me. It was too good to be true. There had to be a catch. I listened carefully to the camera, covering my ears when I heard Alli shriek yet again. "Ohmygod Clare not uh! Why are you just telling me this now? This is probably the biggest news I've ever heard. Bigger than when we found out _Eclipse _was coming out in June instead of November." Drew, Adam and I all stopped listening to laugh at that one. Who could ever forget that day? Clare, Drew, Adam and I were all standing at Clare's locker watching some video she wanted to show us. Suddenly, the only thing we could hear were Alli's shrieks coming from the other end of the hallway. When she finally reached us she said something about eclipses of the moon, and then Clare was shrieking just as loud as Alli was! It was truly one of the most frightening moments in my entire life.

"Alli, I don't know what's going on! I'm so confused. I mean, I've known Eli since I was five, right? So, why am I just starting to get these feelings now? Plus, I'm most certainly not over KC yet, so that makes me double confused. Plus, Eli is the best friend I've ever had in my entire life so that makes me _triple _confused. But yesterday, when he was here, I noticed how much I liked his laugh, and how much I wanted to kiss him. It's pathetic! Now I'm not even going to be able to hang out with him without wanting to kiss him. He's my best friend, Alli. What do I do?" I held my breath, hoping Alli would tell her to just go for me. "Well, Clare, you can't just ignore these feelings. Trust me, that won't end well. But at the same time you don't want to ruin such an amazing friendship. You guys have been friends for too long to let some stupid breakup end that friendship. But Eli is cute, in his own gothic way, and you too get along so well, everybody knows that. And they do say opposites attract, which would most certainly apply to the two of you. Clare, if I were you, I would go for Eli, forget KC." Did I mention how much I _adored _Alli Bhandari? "Eli would treat you right, where as KC might break your heart. Now we only have to find a way to get Eli to admit he has feelings for you." I could practically see Clare rolling her eyes. "Alli, don't be stupid, we don't know he feels that way!" Now I was seeing Alli rolling _her_ eyes. "Seriously Clare, are you retarded? The guy has been hopelessly in love with you for like, ever. I'm actually surprised you didn't notice by now. After all, you're supposed to be the genius. Seriously Clare, it's been going on ever since I met you. Trust me, once he knows you feel this way about him, you two will instantly become a couple." She stopped talking to shriek yet again. Dear God that girl shrieked a lot. "You two could be Degrassi's cutest couple of the year! Ohmygod that would be soooo perfect!" Alright this is getting a bit embarrassing to listen to. Adam and Drew were laughing hysterically and I couldn't help but join in. Who would've thought someone would ever talk about me and the word "cutest" in the same sentence? The two words just didn't fit together.

After about an hour more of girl talk, we were done. We didn't find out anything else interesting. Just that Alli was just as obsessed with Drew as Drew was with Alli. The two were made for each other, I swear. After all, every time he heard her shriek, he would actually _smile._ Like seriously, what the hell is wrong with that guy? Those shrieks were freaking deafening. Adam looked at me, and I could tell he was wondering what I was thinking. He probably thought I was thinking about Clare and how I was going to get her to go out with me. In fact, I actually had to figure that much out. I couldn't just ask her, no, that would be too obvious. I wanted her to admit she liked me, that way I wouldn't have to figure out a way to do it myself. There were two problems with what I had just heard. One: that I had no idea how to approach the Clare situation, and two: that she wasn't over KC. The guy had beaten her up for God's sake. She really needed to get over him. I felt my phone vibrate against my leg, and looked down to see who it could possibly be.

I smiled as soon as I saw the sender. The message was from Clare, and it read, "Heey how's guys night?" it was funny how one little text like that could brighten my day. I responded, "Just peachy. How's girls night? How much did the two of you talk about my sexiness?" I said this as a joke, but I also wanted her to be put in an uncomfortable situation, not knowing how to answer the question. Her response made me literally laugh out loud. "Not much, Goldsworthy. We just compared you to Robert Pattinson. No offense, but you failed that comparison. Epically. Maybe if you were a vampire you would actually stand a chance, but no." I rolled my eyes and responded, "Oh shut up Edwards, you know you want me (;" I wanted to see what she would respond to this. She replied, "Just as badly as you want me (;" oh, so very very _very _badly? This girl was driving me insane. We were texting back and forth for a while longer, while Adam and Drew played some video game. I wasn't really interested in that right now, I was too focused on my conversation with Clare. We had fallen back into our usual comfortable conversation, but somehow, the texts seemed different now. They seemed like the two of us shared a secret or something. I really liked it. It felt, right. Everything with Clare felt right. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true.

Eventually, Drew fell asleep, so it was just me and Adam up. He smiled at me, and I knew he was thinking what I was thinking; I had finally gotten the girl. Well, I hadn't gotten her just yet, but she liked me, and that was enough to make me happy. Adam fell asleep next, so that left just me and my thoughts. I had a lot on my mind tonight, considering everything I had found out. Just as I was falling asleep I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I picked it up and looked at it, new text message from Clare. It read, "Goodnight, Goldsworthy (:" I'm not going to lie, when I read that text message I probably had the biggest grin on my face anyone has ever had. It just made me happy that she took the time to say goodnight to me, even though we had stopped texting a little bit ago. It was sweet. I replied, "Goodnight Edwards. Sweet dreams." I decided against mentioning how, most likely, she would be in my dreams. That would be a bit creepy.

I lay down on the floor and tried to stop thinking about Clare, but that was impossible. I just couldn't do it. She was so hypnotizing. It was now about four in the morning. Drew had been asleep by one, Adam by two. I had been the only one awake for two hours. Finally, I felt myself start to get tired, and the last thing on my mind before I fell asleep was Clare's smile.

_**Okay, so if you haven't noticed, I kind of love Clare's obsession with Twilight. It makes me laugh all the time. That's why I always include it in all of my stories. So if you enjoyed it, please review, because that's literally the sweetest thing you could ever do for me(: oh, and I'm aware this is ridiculously cheesy. It was a cheesy chapter; you were warned in the beginning. **_


	9. Bad Decisions

_**Well, this was more drama-filled than I had originally intended for it to be. But it's **_**nothing**_** compared to the drama that will be coming in its future (; Review if you read please (:**_

I woke up the next afternoon to my phone vibrating on my chest. I groaned and opened the text message, which read, "Hey sleepyhead! Alli's dragging me to the mall with Drew. Come save me so I'm not the third wheel _yet again?_" I smiled; Clare seemed to always be put in awkward situations where it would be Alli, Drew, and her. Alli liked to drag her best friend along, no matter how much it annoyed her boyfriend. I responded, "Fine. I'll save you this one time, but you _so _owe me. I'll pick you and Alli up in about an hour." I walked downstairs and finally found Adam and Drew. They were watching T.V. of course.

"Geez Eli, I didn't know one person could sleep that long! I mean, I know people sleep late, but its 2:00 in the afternoon! How does one body sleep that much?" Drew was perplexed at my sleeping skills, but Adam just laughed. He knew that, on weekends, I didn't usually wake up before 1. My record? 4:30. Oh yeah, I've got skills. I walked into the Torres' kitchen and grabbed some bread to put in the toaster, before calling out to Drew, "We're meeting Alli and Clare at the mall, just so you know. Adam, you're welcome to come too. We're leaving in 45 minutes."

Adam rolled his eyes and responded, "I'd rather _not_ be the fifth wheel. I'd ask Fiona to come, but she's busy anyways. You four have fun. Oh and Eli? Try to _not _get Saint Clare pregnant on the first date. Her parents may love you now, but if you're the one to break her purity vow they'd most likely kill you." I laughed and responded, "Dude, it's not a date. Clare just wanted me to come save her so she wouldn't have to watch this one" I motioned to Drew, "and his girlfriend making out the _entire _time, considering that always seems to be the situations she gets herself into." Now Drew laughed and shrugged, saying he couldn't help it. He then ran upstairs to get ready because apparently, it took the guy half an hour to get ready on a daily basis. He was such a girl.

At 2:45 I pulled up to Clare's house and quickly texted her to let her know I was outside. Thirty seconds later she walked outside and I swear to God my jaw dropped to the floor. Her usual messy curls were styled beautifully; her striking blue eyes were made even more noticeable by something Alli must have done. She was wearing a blue dress that hugged her curves perfectly. Dear God, she was beautiful. She got in the car next to me, while Alli climbed in the back with Drew.

About ten minutes later we were at the mall, and I remembered how much I _hated_ malls. Clare and Alli pulled Drew and I into every single store, while we sat and waited for them to try on a billion outfits, and decide to not buy a single thing. I swear, those two are the most insane people I have ever met. After about two hours of "No, I don't want this, it makes me look fat, but it would look perfect on you." the two decided to finally let us go get something to eat. Drew and Alli wanted McDonald's, while Clare and I wanted pizza. As we were in line, I noticed something about Clare. She seemed really nervous about something, and that started to make me upset. She didn't need to be nervous about anything, and it scared me that she was. "Eli, I have something to tell you, but I don't know how you'll take it. You might be really angry, and you might not want to talk about it, but I just think you need to know." She must have made her mind up and decided to go for me! I couldn't be happier, that is, until she let these words come out of her mouth, "I've decided to give KC another chance."

Suddenly, the world wasn't so freaking perfect anymore. It was a terrible place. It liked to build people up, only to knock them down in the end. Did I mention I hated the world at the moment? I refused to respond to what Clare said, thinking that maybe if I ignored it, it wouldn't be true. She looked at me and said, "I know you're angry, believe me, I understand, but you have to trust me. He only hit me once, and it was a total onetime thing. He would never do it again, and I trust him! We were really good together, and I don't want to ruin a perfectly good relationship over some stupid fight. After all, I didn't even get a mark. I know you're thinking that I'm crazy, but I've been thinking about it ever since the breakup, and it just seems like the right thing to do." I was terrified. I was also upset she didn't pick me, but I was more concerned about her safety. She was much too forgiving; it could be an asset at times, but it could also be a flaw. She always forgave, even when people didn't deserve it.

Finally, I had found my voice again. "Oh yeah, Clare, well what about me? Did you kind of forget about that little detail? First of all, what the hell are you doing forgiving that jerk? He _hit_ you, Clare. Boyfriends cannot do that to their girlfriends, it's not right and it's not legal. Secondly, did you just kind of forget about me? I know what you said last night, and now you're suddenly _over _me? I knew you moved fast, Clare, but seriously? You didn't even give me a chance. I seriously thought you were smart, but if you're giving _him_ another chance before you even give me one, than I must have been wrong. I would never hurt you, not physically, not emotionally, but does that matter to you? No, the only thing that matters to you is having a big, sexy, super popular boyfriend. I can't deal with this anymore, Clare, I'm done." I started walking away before she called out my name. I turned around, wondering what the hell she could possibly want. I just wanted to wallow in self-pity forever.

"First off _Elijah_ he's a good guy, he just made a mistake. I thought you, of all people, would understand that. After all, your freshman year was _all mistakes._ I know you were going through a hard time, but you were a freaking mess! I was there for you, Eli! And there were a hell of a lot more mistakes than you even knew about! Did you know that Julia was _pregnant? _Yeah, there's another mistake right there. She was pregnant and you didn't even know! Secondly, I'm going to ignore the fact that you're way too full of yourself for your own good, but how the hell did you know what I was talking about with Alli last night? That's just sick, Eli. I've tried to deal with you for long enough, and I just can't do it anymore. You're _a mess, _Eli. You scare me."

My thoughts were still trying to wrap my mind around what she had just said. Julia was pregnant? How did I miss something like that? More importantly, how did Clare know but I didn't? She and Julia _hated_ each other. I decided to tell her the truth about the camera, just to rub it in her face. "You wanna know how I know, Clare? Well, I'll let you know _right away_. There was a camera in your room. I put it there when I was looking for my Dead Hand t-shirt. I wanted to see what you and Alli talked about at your stupid little girl's night. Apparently, you don't say things you mean. After all, you said you were falling in love with me, but now you're trying to hop on some abusive asshole that treated you like shit. And about Julia, well, you keeping that a secret just proves how much of a bitch you really are." Whatever I was expecting her reaction to be, it this. She looked at me coldly, and started to walk away. She then turned around swiftly, and slapped me on the face, in front of the entire food court. She then continued her little temper tantrum by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "Screw you, Elijah Goldsworthy." and strutted out of the mall. Well that didn't go exactly as planned, now did it?


	10. Just wanna be with you

I walked into school the next morning feeling awful and looking worse than that. I had gotten about thirty seconds of sleep the night before, but, who could blame me? My conversation with Clare was replaying in my mind. I felt terrible for what I said to her, but, at the same time, I was furious with her. First off, she wanted to get back with a guy who put her in danger. Secondly, she had known a _huge_ secret about my _dead_ ex-girlfriend, and she has kept it for years! That doesn't seem like a very good best friend to me. Still, I was dying without her. It hasn't even been a full 24 hours and I'm going insane. I didn't have class with her till 11, so I was working on my apology speech until then.

When it was time for English, I started to get really nervous. What if she didn't forgive me? Who would be there for her when she needed someone? Who would help her with all the drama that I _knew _KC would bring? Nevertheless, I walked into English with my head held high, and took my seat next to Clare. She looked at me, rolled her eyes, and started talking to the person in front of her. I took a deep breath and began, "Listen, Clare, can we talk?" She turned back to me, folded her arms across her chest, and ignored my question. I took that as a yes. "About what happened yesterday, well, I'm so sorry. I should have supported your decision and instead I tried to tear you down. I guess that was the jealousy. And I'm also sorry about the camera. It was stupid and immature and I can't believe I did something like that. I'm so sorry, Clare."

Her face softened a bit as she began to speak, "Eli, you're my best friend in the _entire_ world. I need you to support my decisions no matter what they are. You didn't do that yesterday. But I just hope you thought about it and are willing to support me now, because I need you in my life. You're the only one who ever knows what actually happens in my life, half the things I tell Alli and Jenna are lies. I can't lose you. Oh, and the camera, well, I'm not going to lie that was _really _immature. It seems like something Drew would do, yes, but _not_ something I would expect from you! But I can tell you're sorry, so I forgive you." She paused before continuing, her face turning from slightly angry to apologetic, "And Eli, I'm _so sorry._ I'm sorry for slapping you, I'm sorry for saying all of those terrible things, but most of all, I'm sorry you had to find out about Julia like that. I wanted to tell you as soon as she told me, but she made me swear not to. And when she died, I felt like you didn't need anything else to grieve over, so I didn't tell you then. Now, years later, I have always wanted to tell you, but I was being selfish. I was worried about how you would take it and whether you would forgive me for keeping the secret or not. So I'm terribly sorry, both for keeping the secret, and telling you when I did."

The second she finished her sentence, the bell rang signifying the start of class. I didn't pay attention whatsoever, my mind was still racing. I, of course, was going to forgive Clare, but I still couldn't believe that little secret. It did make sense, though. Why Julia was starting to get angry at me so often, why we would be in school and she would rush to the bathroom, why her emotions were driving me insane. It all fits. When the bell rang, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up at Clare, and she was looked like she was waiting for an answer. "You know I can't stay mad at you while you're wearing that facial expression." She smiled and ran into my arms, holding me tight. I could feel her tears against my chest, and I realized she was having the same worries I was having. She could honestly forget that no matter what she did, I would always forgive her. She was still hugging me, leaning her head against my shoulder. This could be so romantic if she was actually my girlfriend. Still, I was ecstatic to have her back as my friend, even if that was all she would ever be.

We walked out of the classroom laughing, and we were faced with, none other than Alli Bhandari. "I see you two can't stay mad at each other for more than thirty seconds." Clare and I laughed and Alli rolled her eyes and walked away. I truly didn't get that girl. The next person we were faced with wasn't that difficult to understand. "Hey, Clare, can I talk to you for a minute? It's kind of important." Clare nodded, and went off with KC. I was trying to ignore the anger building up inside of me, but it wasn't that simple. I was scared of what he would do to her, but I was also jealous. I was so jealous it hurt. I walked away, not being able to watch the two of them for any longer.

I walked into the cafeteria feeling alone and depressed, until I saw Clare wave me over. Then I felt wonderful. I _always_ felt wonderful when she was around. It was just the effect she had on me. I sat down at my usual place at the lunch table, and quickly joined in on Adam, Clare, and Alli's conversation. They were asking embarrassing questions about Clare's past, and Clare would blush and ignore everyone. Unfortunately for Clare, I had known her through _all _of those embarrassing times, and I wasn't afraid to share my stories. "So the fourth grade teacher and the rest of our fourth grade class walked in on Clare singing some song and dancing around. I swear it was the funniest thing I have ever seen. She was so embarrassed after that, she wouldn't come to school for a week!" Everyone was laughing hysterically now, while Clare put her head in her hands. KC walked into the lunch room, and Clare waved him over. So, that was it then? They were _already_ back together? Honestly, that's just wrong. He took a seat on the right hand side of me, and looked at me. I knew he was thinking about our meeting outside of the Dot, and maybe he was actually sorry for what had happened. But I wasn't remorseful in the slightest. He deserved what I did to him, and if he decided to hurt Clare again, emotionally or physically, I would to so much more to him. I would make him hurt, make him feel the pain he made Clare feel. My thoughts were interrupted by an outburst of laughter, and I realized I should probably pay attention to the conversation going on if I didn't want it to look like I was zoning out, Even if I _was_ zoning out.

After lunch, KC ran to catch up with me in the hallway. I did my best to ignore him, but it was no use, he was relentless. "Eli, man, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done all that to you, but, I'm also sorry about Clare. I know you like her man, and I'm sorry, for you, that she chose me. But who can blame her, right? I'm popular and a jock, the kind of guy all girls want. No offense, but you're a short skinny emo who's just her best friend." He was honestly an idiot. First off, why the hell would he apologize but then say how much better he was than me? Secondly, he thought our fight was about me wanting Clare? He seriously was a moron. I was hurt that Clare didn't pick me, but I wouldn't beat up her boyfriend for that. No, this was far more serious than some stupid grudge. "KC, I appreciate your apology. But, that's not why I fought you that day. I was just trying to make you feel some of the pain that you put Clare through. I was trying to make you hurt like you made her hurt. That's all." And with that I walked away, not even thinking about looking back.

I got home from school that day and ran straight up to my room. I lie down on my bed and put on my music as loud as it would go, and started to scream to the lyrics at the top of my lungs. I missed Clare, the old Clare, the one pre-KC. And I missed Julia. I missed her so, so, so much. Sometimes I wished that I went with her that night. That way I wouldn't have had to live without her. If we had both gone, it would have made my life a thousand times easier. I wouldn't have had to deal with Clare drama; I wouldn't have had to deal with loving a girl who would never return the favor. I picked up a picture of Julia and I off my dresser. I held it in my arms lovingly, wishing I could go back to that night. It was the night of our formal, and we had an amazing time. I wasn't one to go to those kinds of things, but she desperately wanted to go with me, so I agreed. I wanted to be with her right now, so, so, so badly. I heard her voice in my head. "Eli, I miss you too. I can't stand being without you. You know, you _can _come be with me. We could spend the rest of forever together, and we wouldn't have to deal with drama or anything. We could just be happy, like we used to be. I'm sorry I kept such a huge secret from you; it's just that I was _terrified_. I was planning on telling you that night, but we fought and things got out of hand. You didn't deserve to find out from Clare, you deserved to find out from me, and I'm terribly sorry for that. But I love you, Eli. I always have." Suddenly, Julia's advice seemed like the best advice in the entire world. I was done with this; I was going to be with Julia.

_**I'm planning on updating this tomorrow or on Tuesday, because, honestly, this is just getting SO ADDICTING. I have rewritten this chapter seven times because I wanted it to come out the way I wanted. This is by far my favorite story to write, and I hope you like it! Review if you read, please, it will make my day and make me want to write more. (:**_


	11. Memories

_**As promised, I updated today. I just wanted to thank you all for reviewing; it seriously makes me the happiest person on earth. I would like to give a special thank you to "tzardo", who I'm assuming read all my chapters today, and made an effort to review on most of them, even though she was reading them all at once. (If that made sense whatsoever) So yeah, I don't really like this chapter, but I promise the next ones will have more Eli loving Clare adorableness, Clare/Alli/Eli dramaness, and, most importantly, Clare/KC/Eli MAJOR DRAMA. I promise that is in the near future.**_

I got into my car and just started driving. I was on my way to be with Julia. I knew it was impossible for me to _actually _be with her, but I went to the place where I felt her presence more than any other place in the entire world: the park at which we shared our first kiss.

"_I don't really know why I like drawing so much, Eli. I just do. It's a way to express my emotions, a way for me to really let people know how I feel without having to verbally tell them. It's what I do when I get hurt, excited, happy, or sad. It's a part of me, like writing is a part of you."_

"_I guess you're right, Jules. I'm an expert at stick figures if you ever need any lessons." Her laughter surrounded me, and I realized how beautiful she was. "So, what are you going to draw when you get home tonight? Are you going to draw picture of an _incredibly_ sexy thirteen year old boy?"_

_She laughed again and laced her fingers through mine. Honestly, this was one of the best feelings, having someone else's hand and yours intertwined. It felt right. "Well, I don't know yet silly! The night hasn't ended yet. And I guess what I draw depends on _how_ the night ends. For instance, if the night were to end right now, I would draw a girl who was very happy after her first date." She moved slightly closer to me and whispered, "But if the night were to end after this," she moved even closer to me and pressed her lips to mine. I never wanted to let her go, but she pulled away after a little, finishing her sentence in that same whisper, "I don't think I could capture my emotions on paper." _

My mind shifted back to the present. I was at Julia's park now, and walked up to one of the benches, sitting down on it. I felt her there and I knew she was. "Oh Jules," I started, talking to her invisible presence, "I miss you. And I'm sorry you had to leave so quickly. I wonder how different our lives would be if you were still here. For instance, would I have ever buried those feelings for Clare? I know you knew about them, that's why you hated her so much. I'm sorry I couldn't give you everything, Jules. I seem to be unable to let go of these stupid feelings for her. I know if you were here and able to answer me, you'd tell me that was true love, but you don't even know the half of it. She's going to get hurt, and there's nothing I can even do about it. Not just hurt mentally, Jules, but physically hurt! I'm so scared for her. And I'm scared for me, because, what if I end up losing her like I lost you? I don't think I'd be able to make it through." I looked down at my hands and noticed they were shaking. I needed to leave, but, before I did so, I had to tell Julia one more thing. "Earlier today, I was thinking about coming to be with you. Not just coming to this park and talking to you, but actually going to be with you. Now I realize that wouldn't change anything. I realize that I'd miss Clare just like I miss you. So I wouldn't be escaping my pain, only increasing it. I love you, Jules. I always have, and I always will." With that I left the park, feeling good about having just let out all my feelings. I needed to go talk to her more often, I realized. It helped calm me down. I got back into my car and drove home. I didn't realize it while I was there, but I had left my phone on my bed. I had nine missed calls and thirteen text messages, all from Clare. I picked up my phone and started to dial again, until I heard her voice. "Oh Eli, thank goodness you're alright. I was so worried about you! You seemed out of it at lunch, and you weren't answering my calls, so I instantly panicked. You know me, always the worrier." I smiled at the truth of that statement, before letting her continue, "So, KC and I are going out to dinner tonight, and he suggested I invite you and Alli. He wants to talk to you guys about what happened, I think to apologize. He really is a good guy, Eli! Will you come?"

To be truthful, the idea of a dinner with KC just made me want to vomit, but I knew if I refused to go, Clare would be hurt. So, I did agree to go and hung up the phone. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. I didn't know what I had let myself become. I was yelling at Clare in public, had gotten a girl pregnant, and had been ready to kill myself, all within the last 24 hours. Well, the second part had been awhile ago, but I had just learned about it in the past 24 hours.

I checked the time and quickly got changed and combed my hair, rolling my eyes when I imagined what KC was doing at the moment. Okay, first off, the guy was _the_ biggest Justin Bieber wannabe in the history of wannabes. Secondly, he was just as obsessed with his hair as he was with himself, and thirdly, he's an asshole. Yet I was making my way to spend time with this guy. Why? Well, because Clare told me to of course! I was honestly pathetic. I was so obsessed with the idea of being with her that I would spend time with some guy I absolutely _despised._ Seriously, it was pathetic. I texted Clare, wondering if she had told Alli what actually happened between her and KC. She responded: "Yeah, she knows the whole story. She was just as upset as you were, so I'll be surprised if the two of you ever forgive KC. But I don't want you to forgive him; I just want you to _accept_ the fact that we're going to be together for a long time. I love him, Eli. I really do." God, I didn't need to read all that. I just wanted to know if Alli knew, and she told me how _in love _with KC she was. She obviously didn't know the first thing about love, because lovers don't hit each other, they just don't. Julia could drive me to insanity at times, but I had never even _thought_ about hurting her. It just wasn't something _sane_ people thought about. I picked up my phone and sent a text to Alli, which read, "Hey, you're going tonight, right? I don't think I could live if I had to sit there and hate the douche bag by myself. You best be tagging along so I can have someone to hate with." I didn't like Alli very much, but I would rather be with her, KC, and Clare than just KC and Clare. Alli responded saying that yes, she was going, and yes, we could totally hate him together. I smiled, knowing that my hatred of KC would be shared by someone else tonight. I assumed Clare, KC, and Alli all needed rides because none of them even owned a car, so I got into Morty and headed towards Alli's house. I decided if I picked her up first, we could trash talk KC a bit before picking him and Clare up at her house.

"Hey, Eli." Alli said as she stepped into my car. I had to admit that, even though she was annoying and I didn't like her, she was smoking hot. I knew Drew would kill me for having those thoughts, but he would never know, right? I mean, it's not like I would ever be with Alli, she didn't really like me, and, as I have previously mentioned, I didn't really like Alli. Still, she was hot. "Eli, I'm so worried about Clare. Why she would ever give him a chance after what he did I don't know, but what if he does it again? Only, what if this time, it's much worse? I don't think I can deal with looking at him, just waiting for his next anger spasm." Alli was voicing all the thoughts that had ran through my mind the second Clare said she and KC were getting back together. "I know, Alli, I'm scared too. She's my best friend. I feel like we should tell someone this, after all, that's what they always tell you to do in those assemblies about abusive relationships and everything, we have no proof. Also, Clare would most likely make our lives living hells if we even thought about it." Alli nodded, and the rest of the car ride to Clare's was silent. We pulled up at the Edward's house, and KC and Clare walked out, hand in hand, laughing about something that was most likely stupid. They got into Morty, and I nodded towards the two of them as a greeting before pulling out of the Edwards driveway. Well, this will be a bit interesting. I pulled up to the Dot and got out of the car, making sure I had the doors locked. After all, I didn't want anyone stealing my baby. We went into the Dot, and sat down at a table. Alli noticed Sav's friend, Peter, and waved to him. He came over and took our orders, and added a little comment, probably just to annoy his friend's little sister. "Aw, double dating, how sweet and innocent." Alli's eyes went huge and I swear I almost spit out my water. The two of us, at the same time, quickly said, "Oh, we're not dating. No, no, no, we would _never_ be together." Peter mumbled something about denial before walking away. "God," Clare said, "Can you imagine the two of you as a couple? It would be terrible, always having arguments and such. I could never imagine you two." Alli looked at KC before adding, "Well, I never saw the two of you together, either, but look how that turned out. Oh, silly me, that turned out horrible too! I almost forgot that he hurt you."

KC looked down and Clare looked angrily at Alli. Honestly, I was jealous of Alli's bravery. I wish I had the nerve to stick it to KC right in front of Clare. "Alli, I thought we agreed, no bashing on people while their standing right here." Alli rolled her eyes and added, "Yes, Clare, well I think this is a special circumstance. KC needs to know the pain he made you feel. KC, just so you know, no matter what you say to me, Clare, or Eli, I will _never_ forgive you for what you did. I'm not Saint Clare; I can't just turn the other cheek. You're a jerk, and you always will be." Clare looked furious, but KC looked surprisingly calm. "Alli, you are so right to hate me. What I did was completely unforgivable, and I get that. I understand that you hate me, and, to tell you the truth, you have every right to. But I love Clare, and she's giving me a second chance. She loves me and I love her, we're going to be together for a very long time, and life would be a lot easier if her best girl friend would approve of her boyfriend. Her best boy friend has already made it clear that there is no way in hell that is going to happen, and I understand that. But please, Alli and Eli, you have to understand that I love Clare. I love her so much, and I know what I did was wrong. I don't want the two of you to hate me, because she loves you and she loves me. Please, if it's possible, can you forgive me for my terrible actions?" I looked toward Alli, and she was wearing the look I was thinking. We had to forgive him, for Clare. I was the first to respond. "KC, you're forgiven."


	12. The Phone Call

_**The end is drawing near for this story! I have had this ending planned out since chapter one. There will be a max of five (well, at least that's what I think. Maybe more? I don't know) chapters left of this story, and then it will be over. I have to add that I will miss this story so much, I'm a bit too attached to it. **_**Review? (:**

*****PS*** There **_**WILL**_** be a sequel for this story, because I'm not ready to let it go completely! I know, it's actually kind of pathetic. **

KC looked up in surprise when I let out those words. He reached across the table to shake my hand, and Clare was smiling hugely. God, she was adorable. Alli was glaring at me, and I knew I had betrayed her plan: for the both of us to hate KC. I felt bad, but I couldn't do that, because it hurt Clare. I mean, sure, I would hate him, but I wouldn't make it obvious. No one would know besides me. I would keep all these emotions bottled up until I break, because, I'm Eli Goldsworthy, that's what I do.

The rest of the night was relatively awkward, but it wasn't so terrible. I went home and laid on my bed, just wishing Clare was here with me. I was always happy with her around. I heard my phone ringing, but it was all the way on the other side of the room, and, frankly, I really didn't feel like getting up. After three more calls I decided it might be important, so I got up and answered the phone. It was Alli. "Eli! Oh thank God I got a hold of you." I was confused, what could possibly be so important that she was _that_ desperate to reach me? "What's up, Alli?" She took a minute before responding, and I could have sworn I heard sobbing, but, that couldn't be true, right? "Eli, it's about Clare. She's hurt, really hurt. You need to come to the emergency room right away. Eli, I'm so scared." I heard her break down, and, to be honest, I couldn't help but do the same. What could have happened to her? I got in the car and speeded to the ER, barely even stopping at the red lights.

I ran in the doors and saw Alli sitting in the waiting room, hugging her knees against her chest, just sobbing. I sprinted up to her and sat down. "Oh, Eli, thank God you're here." She wrapped her arms around me and cried into my chest. "Alli, what's wrong? What happened to Clare?" She looked down and tried to catch her breath before responding, "Well, Eli, she was texting me as soon as we left the Dot. She was reprimanding me for not being forgiving like you. All of the sudden, she just stopped answering, so I assumed she was," she paused and threw me an apologetic look, "busy with KC. I wasn't wrong, but, it wasn't what I was thinking. After about an hour and a half, I looked down at my phone and she still hadn't answered. I was worried about her, so, I decided to go look for her. I knew she and KC were supposed to go to the park, so I started there. I didn't see her, but I had a feeling she was there, so I kept looking. I found her twenty minutes later, on the ground, blood surrounding her. It was him, Eli, I know it. He did this to her." I was at loss for words. I was seriously waiting for someone to come out and scream "Got you!" There was no way this was happening.

After a few minutes of Alli sobbing, and me attempting (and failing) to hold in my tears, a doctor came out and asked who was there for Clare Edwards. Alli and I looked at each other and walked up, saying we were here for Clare. Her parents wouldn't be here for a few more hours because they were at her grandmother's house, which was five hours away. We were all she had. He pulled us into a room and started talking. "We don't know what happened, but we can tell you this. Clare is in critical condition. It seems as if someone attempted a murder, but we can't be sure. Do you know what she was supposed to be doing at the time this happened?" Alli was crying, but my eyes were wide at the words 'critical condition'. They were much too familiar, that's what they had said Julia was in and look how that turned out. I was the first to speak. "She was supposed to be with her boyfriend, KC. He did this to her. He had hit her before, but she _swore_ it was a onetime thing. Doctor, Clare's gonna be alright, right? I mean, she'll be okay in a couple of days, she has to be."

He looked down before responding, "She had bruises all over her body. Not just from this attempt, but older ones. We could tell by the coloring. There was no way his abuse had been a onetime thing, it was an occurring thing. As for Ms. Edward's condition, well, we can't make any promises. If she does wake up, we don't know how she'll be, if there will be any permanent damage or not." My heart stopped beating. "You mean when she wakes up, right? Because, she's gonna wake up. She has to wake up." He looked down and responded, "I'm sorry." He walked away, leaving me with Alli. She was bawling, and I started to get really angry. "I can't go through this. All the pain that follows isn't worth it. I can't deal with all of this. Not again." I was screaming by this point, and repeatedly hitting my head against the wall while doing so. Alli didn't even try to stop me; she was also in shock from the doctor's words.

We sat down and just waited. Waiting was the worst thing we could possibly have to do right now. Who wants to wait to hear that their best friend in the _entire _world is dead? Drew walked through the ER door, followed by Adam. Drew walked up to Alli and she collapsed into him, sobbing extremely loud. Drew wasn't an emotional one, but I did see that his eyes were filled with tears. Adam's were the same, but I could tell he wasn't as hasty at letting them fall as Drew was. I, on the other hand, wasn't really worried about looking tough, so I just let the tears fall. I was having déjà vu like crazy, Julia's death just kept replaying in my mind. She died because of me, and now Clare was going to die because of me. If I hadn't forgiven KC, she might have come home with me, yelling at me for being a jerk. But I had forgiven him, and now he had hurt her. It was my fault, everything was always my fault. A nurse came out and said we could come see her, so we all got up slowly and followed her to room 422. I noticed the room number and I stopped breathing. 422. April 22. The day Julia died. This was all too much for me to handle.

I looked at the door and hesitantly opened it, not ready for what was to come. That's when I saw her, laying there, looking so innocent and helpless. I wanted to go over to her, but I seemed to forget how to move. I walked over to where she was laying and put my hand on hers. "Clare, I need you to wake up, okay? You can't leave me, not now. I know you, Clare, and you wouldn't want to make everyone sad. So what you need to do for me is wake up, okay?" Everyone was looking down and crying, and I realized they could probably hear the tears in my voice. I didn't care, I had to finish. "We all love you so much, and for you to leave would be just wrong. We need you here, Clare. You're the one who brightens up the hallways on those terrible miserable days, the one who I always call when I need someone to talk to. You were there for me when I wasn't even there for myself. I need you, Clare." I took a deep breath before adding, "You're the only reason I'm still alive today." With that, the tears started coming so hard that I couldn't speak anymore, so I just sat down, feeling defeated.


	13. Whispered Words

_**Okay, first off, I would just like to thank all of you for your sweet reviews on the last chapter. I got 100 reviews in 12 chapters; something I didn't think would be possible, so thank you to anyone who has **_**ever**_** reviewed. **_

_** **Once again, I**__ will_ _**be writing a sequel.****_

The first two days after Clare's accident, I sat at the hospital, all day and night. On day three, I had different plans, I was going to find KC, and I was going to kick his ass.

I walked to the Dot, assuming that was probably where he was. When I walked in and noticed he wasn't there, I started to get agitated. I wasn't exactly a patient person, so I wandered near Degrassi to see if I could find him. Oh, I found him all right. He was making out with Bianca. I'm not even going to comment on that.

"Bianca, be careful with this one, he has a bit of an anger problem." KC clenched his hands into fists and pulled away from Bianca. Before he could respond to my comment, I continued to mock him. "He tends to hit girls. Not just once or twice, oh no, multiple times! He also likes to put them in comas." Bianca rolled her eyes and walked away, and I realized this was my chance to get payback for what he did to Clare.

I walked towards him and didn't hesitate to punch him in the face. He staggered back a bit, and I used this time to punch him to the gut, which caused him to fall to the ground. I then repeatedly kicked him in the stomach, causing him to cry out in pain. Instead of ceasing my attack, I got right up in his face and tormented him. "Oh, did you stop when _Clare_ told you to stop? No, you just kept hitting her until she went into a coma. SHE HASN'T WOKEN UP YET. THE DOCTORS SAY SHE MOST LIKELY WILL NEVER WAKE UP." I saw him flinch at that last sentence, but I ignored it. "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW THAT YOU TOOK SOMEONE'S LIFE AWAY FROM THEM? SHE'S ONLY SIXTEEN YEARS OLD, AND YOU KILLED HER." I then got back to kicking him in the stomach.

After a few minutes of this, I was satisfied with what I had done to him and walked away. I heard him attempt to call out to me. I turned around and glared at him, waiting for his response. "For what it's worth, I really am sorry." I ignored the apology and walked away.

I drove to the hospital, and ran into Clare's room, to see if she has changed at all. She hasn't. I tried to avoid the tears from falling out of my eyes, but I knew it was useless. I had spent the past two days crying, and today wouldn't be anything different. I walked up to her bed and put my hand on hers. "Clare, it's me, Eli. You know, your best friend? I just wanted you to know that I love you, alright? I love you so much, and knowing that you might not be able to answer that, well, it kills me. But I have to stay strong, because you're not gone. Well, not yet. I just love you Clare, so much, and I don't know what else to say."

I walked back to a chair and sat, looking at my hands sadly. Clare was going to leave me. She was going to leave me alone, just like Julia. I wondered if she would spend time with Julia when she was gone. The only two girls Eli Goldsworthy had ever loved, both gone. I shed a few more tears and looked up at Clare, who, surprise, surprise, hadn't changed positions.

I was starting to get really hungry, so I ran down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. I got a sandwich, an apple, and a Dr. Pepper. I sat down and ate by myself. I was going to have to get used to being alone. I didn't have any real friends, except Adam, who, I couldn't really hang around without being reminded of Clare, and I couldn't be reminded of Clare. I couldn't think of those beautiful brown curls, or those wonderful blue eyes, or her strikingly lovely smile. God I miss her voice. That beautiful, velvet like voice that got me through times that I didn't think _anyone _could possibly get me through.

She was my best friend. She was the girl I loved. She was the girl I could tell anything to without being judged. She was the girl who had always loved me, no matter if it was a time when I knew I didn't deserve to be loved. She was the most beautiful girl in the entire world. She was the reason I had passed my English assignments, she was the reason I didn't fail freshman year, she was the reason anything positive had ever happened in my life. She was Clare Diana Edwards, and, to me, she was the definition of love.

Thinking these things made me sigh, because I knew that there was a very good possibility that I would never get to tell her these things. I knew that she might not ever hear how much I cared for her, how much she meant to me, and how wonderfully I would treat her if she was ever mine. I felt a few tears in the corner of my eye, and I didn't try to stop them from falling. Everyone in the hospital knew me, because they had to drag me, kicking and screaming, out of the hospital on Tuesday night. I just couldn't imagine leaving Clare in that room all by herself. I thought that if she was awake and had a say in it, than she would have wanted someone to stay, too. The staff didn't listen though, and I was dragged out by force. Let's just say that makes _a bit_ of an impression on people.

I checked my watch and noticed that I had been gone from Clare's room for nearly thirty minutes, which was much too long. So, I walked back up to the hospital room and stopped at her room's door. I cringed when I saw there were about ten doctors in there. They were probably going to give me the news. They were probably just going to come right out and say it, something like "_"I'm sorry but, Clare's gone."_ They didn't care about me, and she was just another dying patient to them. They didn't care about how I had already had to go through all of this once, with another one of the girls I loved.

I walked in the room and one of the doctors turned around, surprised. "Oh, Mr. Goldsworthy. Would you come here for a moment?" I looked down while walking, attempting to avoid their glances. I finally made my way to him and looked up. I heard a voice. Not just any voice, but a familiar voice. It was hoarse, it was barely there, and it was speaking in a whisper, but it was there. "Eli" the voice whispered. "I've missed you terribly."


	14. Five Simple Words

_**The next chapter, will, in fact, be the last chapter. If you have anything you want to see happen in the sequel, just message me and I'll attempt to put them all in. (: **_

_***PS* if anyone has any name suggestions for the sequel, they can also message me, because sometimes it takes me longer to write the name than it does the **_**entire**_** story.**_

"Eli, I've missed you terribly." My heart stopped beating. Nothing else in the world mattered. The only thing mattered was her voice. It was hoarse and broken, yet it was the most beautiful sound in the world. Why? Because it still existed. It didn't leave this world. I approached her bed with caution, not truly believing that she was awake.

"Clare? You're… you're okay?" I was choking back my tears, but when she nodded, I just let them fall. For the first time in three days, hell, for the first time in three _months _they were tears of _joy._ "Oh, Clare, I was so terrified you wouldn't make it. I thought you were going to leave me." I wrapped my arms around her, forgetting that she was lying in a hospital bed, attached to all of these wires. The only thing that mattered was that Clare was alive. Clare didn't leave me.

When she replied, her voice was close to a whisper, so I had to strain myself to hear her. "You _honestly _think I would leave you here alone? Eli, I'll never leave you." As these words escaped her lips, the tears started to fall down her cheeks. She hugged me tightly, and I squeezed her back. She was _really_ here. She didn't abandon me.

One of the doctors was still in the room and muttered something that contained the words 'young love'. Clare rushed to explain. "Oh, we're not in love. Eli's just my best friend in the entire world. I love him more than anything, but we're not dating." I nodded, trying to make it look like I actually agreed with what she was saying. Oh yeah, I wasn't in love with her or anything.

The doctor scoffed at Clare's statement and replied, "Let's see how long that goes on for." He handed Clare some medication and told her to take it right away. He started to walk out of the room, but took one more glance back at us before he walked away, muttering something that sounded strangely like 'oblivious girl'.

He walked out of the room and Clare laid her head on my shoulder. She looked up at me and smiled. "I honestly don't know why everyone thinks we're dating! Like, doesn't anyone realize that a boy and a girl can be best friends and just that?"

"Yeah, I know. It's crazy. Like, me and you dating? That would _never _work out." I was obviously lying through my teeth, but I didn't want Clare to realize my feelings for her.

She laughed. "I know, honestly, we would drive each other insane." She looked up at me and smiled. "I'm so glad you were here when I woke up. I was afraid I was going to have to talk to those doctors all by my lonesome!"

I looked down at her and took a deep breath, realizing we still had one _very_ important issue to discuss. "Clare, you know we can't avoid the topic of KC forever. We need to talk about it. You can tell me anything, Clare; I promise I won't do anything else rash."

"Anything, _else_? Oh, Eli, what did you do?" I shrugged my shoulders, and she continued, "Yes, he did this to me. I'm so sorry, Eli. I'm sorry I lied to you about his doing this before. I honestly thought that time I told you he hit me would be the last time, so I didn't think I had anything to worry about. I didn't know he would get angry because I told him I was happy you forgave him, because I didn't think you would.

Eli, it was terrifying. He completely lost it. We were in the park, and he just threw me to the ground and started hitting me over and over again. All I wanted was it to stop. He was saying things like 'Oh, where's your precious Eli now? I don't see him anywhere. I guess he doesn't really care about you as much as you thought he did now does he? You're a dumb bitch and I don't know why I was ever with you. You're ugly and a stupid whore.'" She paused to wipe the tears out of her eyes, than continued, "Well, I was just hoping it would end. I was hoping I would just die so I didn't have to deal with the pain anymore, because the pain was unbearable. I was lying in a pool of blood when the world finally became black."

I clenched my fists and realize I hadn't hurt KC badly enough. He was dead. Or at least, he would be when I was done with him. "Clare, I swear to God I'll kill him. I'll do it myself. He's going _suffer_. I'm going to kill him." I was yelling by this point, and she pulled me down.

"Eli, it's okay. Over the past few days, all I've had is the thoughts in my mind. I've been thinking about everything that happened, and I've decided that I'm going to make him _pay_ for what he did to me. I'm going to put him behind bars." I relaxed a little, knowing that this jerk would _never_ be able to hurt Clare again.

There was still one unresolved issue that we had to work out. I knew I wasn't ready to talk about it, but I needed to. It was the only way things would actually get resolved. And Clare was good at talking, and she never judged. That was a good thing, right? Still, I was terrified. "Clare… umm… there's something else I need to talk to you about."

She looked up at me curiously and I smiled, reassuring her that everything was alright. "Alright… what is it Eli? Are you alright? Is anyone hurt? Oh please don't tell me anything terrible happened!"

I laughed to myself. "Clare, you always assume the worst things. No, no one is hurt. But what I need to talk to you about is rather important, so I really need you to hear me out okay?"

She nodded and smiled a little. "Of course, Eli, you know you can talk to me about anything."

I nodded and took a deep breath, preparing myself for what I was going to say. "Clare, I love you so much. You're my best friend and you mean the world to me. But in the past ten years, I've realized something. I don't just love you, Clare. I'm _in _love with you."


	15. Stop the World

**Wow. The final chapter. What to say? I would like to thank every single person that has ever reviewed. It means the WORLD to me, so thank you. Also, thank you for all the story alertas & favorite stories, they mean a lot too (: **

**I would like to dedicate this chapter.. no. no. let me rephrase that. I would like to dedicate THIS WHOLE freaking story to KitKat0219. Not only has she reviewed every single chapter, but she helped me through a TERRIBLE writer's block. So go check out her stories now(: **

**So, here it is. The final chapter. *Tear.***

Her face instantly looked shocked, and I felt like I was going to be sick. She didn't love me back. That was why she looked like she was going to be sick. She finally looked up at me and replied, "You're _in love_ with me?"

I felt ashamed instantly, and wished I didn't tell her. Still, I couldn't lie now that I had already put out the truth. "Yes, Clare. I am. And I'm not going to try and pressure you into loving me too, because I'm okay if you don't. I was just so tired of having that bottled up inside of me for so long. It hurts to keep secrets from your best friend in the entire world, even if that secret _does_ contain quite a lot of information about that best friend."

Clare smiled up at me, and said, "Eli, this is a lot for me to take in. I mean, I knew you never liked any of my boyfriends, but I never realized that you wanted to _replace _them. This is just a lot for me to handle, so, could you just give me a minute?" She spoke kindly, but her words still stung. She was obviously trying to find the nicest way to say that she loved me as her best friend, but we would never be more than that.

"Eli, I-" She was interrupted mid-sentence by a screaming Alli Bhandari. "CLARE! YOU'RE AWAKE. YOU'RE OKAY. Oh, Clare, I was so worried." Alli ran up to Clare's bed and wrapped her arm around her best friend. I smiled sadly; I was glad Alli was here to delay Clare's answer, but I wasn't so happy that I would eventually still have to hear that answer.

Clare hugged her friend back, but she was wearing an impatient look. Maybe she just wanted to get our discussion over with, so she could actually enjoy reuniting with all of her friends. I immediately felt awful for having sprung this on her so soon after her recovery. Well, in my defense, I was terrified that I would _never_ get to tell her, so maybe that was the reason I rushed to tell her.

"Alli, I'm _so_ glad you're here, don't get me wrong, but Eli and I were mid-conversation. You don't mind if we finish it do you?" Alli shook her head, but didn't move. "Erm Alli, I meant can we finish this conversation _alone_. It's kind of private."

She gave me a look, and I realized she was probably curious as to what Clare and I had to talk about that was so secretive. I nodded to her, letting her know that, in fact, it _was_ what she thought it was, and she ran out of the room quickly. Clare looked towards me and I braced myself for the worst.

After a few minutes of silence, I looked up at Clare, who seemed to be deep in thought. Deep in thought couldn't be good… right? "Clare… I'm so sorry. I should have waited until everything was over to tell you. I knew you didn't love me back, but I just couldn't wait to tell you. When you were put in the hospital, I was terrified that I would never get to tell you how I felt about you, which scared me even more than the idea of actually telling you. So, I rushed into it, and I'm sorry about that. But we can still be best friends; this doesn't have to get in the way of our friendship. I just thought you needed to know, _because_ you are my best friend."

"Eli… I'm… well. Eli, I'm so sorry." I looked up at her and gave her a sad smile, letting her know that I was okay with that. I was okay with her just loving me as a friend. That is, I was okay with her loving me as a friend as long as she _never_ stopped loving me as a friend. I would move on, eventually.

"Eli, I'm so sorry that I didn't pick up on the signals, and I wish you had told me sooner. Because… then we could have spent a lot more time doing this." She pulled me close to her and pressed her lips against mine. Let me say that one more time. _She pulled me close to her and pressed her lips against mine._ Clare Edwards, my beautiful best friend, was kissing me, and boy, was I kissing her back. I was kissing her with every emotion I had ever felt. I was kissing her with all of the passion I could muster. But, the most important thing was _she was kissing me with the same amount of passion. _

After we finally pulled away, she looked up at me and smiled. "Eli, I honestly had _no_ idea that you felt this way about me. I mean, when we had that big fight in the mall, I thought you were just saying that you would want me to be with you more than KC. I never realized that you _actually _wanted to be with me. Because, the truth is, I've always wanted to be with you too. When we were in ninth grade, you had Julia, who was great for you. The reason I hated her was because of my hidden feelings for you. I never understood why she hated me, but I guess now I know. That is, if you've always felt this way?"

I looked up at her and rolled my eyes. Was she _honestly _that oblivious? "Of course I have, Clare. I can't even remember a time when I _haven't_ felt this way. I've loved you for as long as I can remember." She smiled and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me so tight that I couldn't breathe.

Suffocating has never felt this good.

"Eli?" She whispered, while still hugging me. I whispered back, "What is it, Edwards?" She pulled away and smiled at the familiar nickname I had given her. She went up to my ear and whispered, "I love you too."

I looked at her and smiled hugely, probably the biggest smile I had ever smiled in my whole life. Bigger than after my first kiss with Julia. Bigger than when Clare had told Alli she might be falling in love with me. Bigger than when Adam had told me that Fiona had accepted him for who he was. Bigger than anything I've ever come across.

I reached down and kissed her on her lips. She kissed me back, and I heard the door open, but I didn't care. I was kissing Clare freaking Edwards; there was _no way_ I was going to stop. That is, until I heard cheering.

I pulled away from Clare, and noticed that Adam, Drew, Alli, and Fiona had all came into the room. I guess Alli had called them all and told them Clare was awake, and, when they didn't hear us talking, they assumed we were done with our conversation.

Clare smiled sheepishly at our friends, and I put on my signature smirk, even though I was smiling _huge_ on the inside. Adam muttered "it's about time." Alli agreed and added, "If I saw you two fall any more in love I would have burst." Fiona paused, she was always rather shy, then added, "It's true, you two are perfect for each other." Drew just laughed, and said, "It's about time you got some Goldsworthy."

I just smiled and pumped my fist in the air, because, for the first time that wasn't a fairy tale or Disney movie, the best friend had _actually_ gotten the girl.

**The sequel shall be written soon. I REALLY need all of your help with ideas for the name of the sequel. So if you think of anything, please message me? You're the best. (:**

**Also, if you have any suggestions, whether it be for the sequel or for another story all together, please message me! (: I LOVE hearing from you(:**


	16. SEQUEL

**_SEQUEL to Already Fallen is NOW posted!_**

**_It's called 'Titleless.' (:_**


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